Saturday, December 31, 2011

Salisbury Road, Hong Kong

No trip to Hong Kong would be complete without a visit to the below locations. Here's a handy diorama, or whatever you call them. No idea.

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The big round object is the Hong Kong Space Museum. The large building south of that is the Art Museum, and the triangle shaped thing that is clearly a Star Trek vessel in disguise is the Cultural Centre with a gallery, music events and a shop that has a book where Bruce Lee sports the hair of a Werewolf.

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On the left hand side is the place where you get the ferry - OH MY UPCOMING BLOG ENTRY FORESHADOWING - but today is all about the arty stuff.

So hey, the Hong Kong Museum of Art.

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It's ludicrously cheap to get in, and there's some amazing things on display - all manner of statues, paintings, clothing, calligraphy and more besides.

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Unfortunately, I can't show you any pictures from inside the building because there are signs everywhere demanding "no photos due to copyright". I'm pretty sure Han Dynasty sculpture pre-dates Berne Convention copyright laws, but try telling that to the guards who track you like hawks throughout the musuem.

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Instead, I'll fall back on cheap laughs gained from insane and / or poorly written signs and posters.

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HAHA YOU PUT WHAT IN YOUR BIN etc.

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No comment required for that one, really. Anyway, back to the museum - tickets are $10 HK, which isn't even a shiny English pound.

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There's about four floors, each devoted to a different kind of..er...stuff. Bottom floor was mostly calligraphy, next one up was a combination of sculpture, ceremonial wotsits and clothing torn from the back of dead emperors. They also had lots of these "pillows" which were actually rectangular stone slabs. Something tells me people actually did rest their heads on these things, to which I can only say "haha".

The other floors were taken up by period paintings, imagery influenced by Renaissance principles and some contemporary artwork which was variable in quality at best and "go back to clown college" at worst.

A tiny sign seemed to indicate you could take pictures, but even then some guard was grimacing at me so I didn't chance it. Random pictures from outside:

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This next one is very Hieronymus Bosch.

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The Museum Cafe deserves special praise, because the food was amazingly good. It's not inside, it's sort of bolted on the outside of the place close to the above statue things. If you end up in a food place serving food, you're doing it right. If you end up in a large shipping container bound for Europe, you might want to check you still have your kidneys.

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This place is so good, we went twice. And I complain about everything, so to get a repeat performance out of me is pretty difficult.

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After the Museum, the other sights nearby are a rather large exhibition center which fairly screams "I was built in the 70s, and if I wasn't I'm doing my best drab 70s interior impression so shut up". The exhibition on offer was something to do with trains, which is about as exciting as it sounds.

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There was this inverted pentagram Christmas tree, though. All hail the Dark Lord!

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Don't get too excited about the space museum, because it's basically a collection of stuff aimed at kids and - as usual - no photographs allowed.

Instead - yes, another instead - here is a picture of what appears to be a space hobo and a young boy.

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STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD, JIMMY. LETHAL FORCE HAS BEEN AUTHORISED.

Once you've seen an intergalactic space hobo it's all downhill from here on out so I'll leave you with a shot of the bay. It was pretty miserable that day so if you're feeling suicidal this isn't the money shot you're looking for.

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Or maybe it is!

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